• Laurie Swigart

SIGNS YOU'VE BEEN IN THE THEATER TOO MUCH

(from http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/2203/theatrejokes.html)


Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.


You know more than one theory for the origin of the name "green room."


You can only read from a light that is blue.


You consider the red part of the stoplight the "standby."


You can't remember what daylight looks like.


You feel naked without your keys attached to your belt loop, or your belt without your Maglite, Leatherman, and Gerber.


You know tie-line has several uses---shoelaces, belts, ponytail holders.


95% of your wardrobe is black.


You watch the Super Bowl, waiting for intermission, not half-time.


You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you've done than what went smoothly.


You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.


You know anything can be fixed with gaff tape, Mortite, sculpt-er-coat, a sharpie, tie-line, and a safety pin.


Your diet consists of fast food or microwaved food.


Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaff tape.


Varying your diet means ordering the #2 instead of the #3 or eating with your left hand instead of your right.


You insist on spelling "theatre" with an "re" not an "er".


People recognize you by the sound of your keys jingling down the hallway.


Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonald's rather than the drive-thru.


"Practical," "Drop," and "flat" are nouns.


Instead of saying that you're leaving, you say you're "exiting."


At home, you "strike" your dishes to the kitchen.


If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like, "Half hour 'til half hour."

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