THEATRICAL PROVERBS

Behold, my sons and daughters, here is wisdom. Pay heed to these words, and in the days of the play, and the hours of thy performing, thou shalt not be caught short.

I. Give not unto an actor his props before their time, for as surely as the sun does rise in the east and set in the west, he shall lose or break them.

II. When told the placement of props by the director, write not these things in ink upon thy scropt for as surely as the winds shall blow, so shall the director have a change of mind.

III. speak not in large words to actors, for they are slow of thought and easily confused.

IV. Speak not in the languages of the techies to the actors, for they are uninitiated, and will not perceive thy meaning.

V. Tap not on the head of a nail (or an actor, or a director) to drive it, but strike it firmly with thy strength.

VI. Keep holy the first performance, for afterwards thou shalt party.

VII. Keep holy the last performance, for afterwards thou shalt strike and party.

VIII. Remember always that the TD is never wrong. If it appears that he is, then thou didst obviously misunderstand the first time.

X. Beware of actors during scene changes, for they are not like unto tech people and are blind in the dark.

XI. Beware of actors when flying in walls, for they will stand and watch and get crushed.

XII. Take not thy cues before their time, but wait for the proper moment to do so.

XIII. Take pity on the actors, for in their roles, they are as children, and must be led with gentle kindness. Thus, endeavor to speak softly and not in anger.

XIV. Listen carefully to the instructions of the director as to how things should be done. Then do them the right way.

XV. And above all else, get carried not away with the glow tape, or thy stage will look like unto an airport runway.