THEATRICAL [PERSONNEL] STRUCTURE
by Diane Lewis, Knight Ridder Newspapers
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.
Leaps short buildings with a running start.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Is occasionally addressed by God.
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings.
Is run over by locomotives.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Talks to animals.
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings.
Says "Look at the choo-choo."
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the track.
Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.